Blasphemer to Saint

"My dad told me he would never leave

He held me as a baby

And watched me while I slept

He was with me in my first step

My first thought

My first kiss

He told me how I should live and trust

Through His precious gift.

He gave me instructions

He gave me guidance and discipline

But still, I began to wonder

What would I miss about Him,

so I went to the world and it handed me over

I went to alcohol and smack… I couldn’t stand being sober

I began to grow bitter and full of anger

My dad wept and asked me to pull Him nearer…

He loved me through it all

Showed grace like no other

Truthfully, I began to suspect He knew me better…

I still didn’t listen

Through my stubbornness… my ego glistened.

I wore my vanity as a robe of pride

It warmed me from the cold of the night.

As my ego grew, the love for my dad fell

He was last, and I couldn’t even tell.

I wandered through life, putting victims under my feet.

I know more now, and what dad said was deceit.

“You're valuable, you're loved, and yet… you're not perfect…”

Is all a bunch of jabber.

I love myself, and that’s all that really matters.

Quit pestering me with that grandiose flatter.

My hair grew long, my boobs grew out

I now know what life is all about.

Humanity is my slave, and I am the master

I will tromp anything that claims I am a viper.

I love myself, my money, and my glory.

My dad is a chump, He tried to steal my victory.

Now that I have this new realization,

I now know I have the power over any situation.

My ties are all bonded with the morality I choose,

And my healthy relationships? My pride eats them for food.

So now I have noticed humanity can win,

Left to my devices, I will certainly show Him.

I conquer and divide,

I sew what I want.

I march to the vibe

of the enemy’s ill trump..

It feels good to my skin,

so dark and so deep.

Now I fear most that my light is my defeat.

This narcissistic rambling can only take me so far,

it’s like losing control of a beautiful car.

Please stop me on this ignorant rant

As I am silenced, I am awakened to death.

I have searched and I have wandered in my own selfish realm,

forgetting that He hemmed me within.

My irrational banter was wisdom to me

until He came down and whispered His words to me:

If you worship your senses, you're not worshiping Me.

For I am the God…The God Almighty.

I was suffocating in pride

Hating the world, I had no love inside.

I have no desire to become selfless and humble

My relationships are vast and empty and subtle.

As I return home, all broken and lost

My dad puts a blanket on my naked body

that I was trying to show off.

He tells me He loves me

And gently strokes my hair.

As I lay in His lap,

I fall into tears.

My anger is unleashed, my hope has run dry.

Why oh why must you let me die?

“Accept my correction, my Love and my ways, and I will give you a new life today.”

As I drifted into a new fallen slope,

My eyes are opened

To a glimpse of hope.

Love that was unchanging

That loved me so dear

He quietly said, “I have always been near.”

I heard the angels sing

As they circled His throne.

I fell at His feet

And begged for more of His Love.

His Love was unleashed

Like a piercing wave to the heart.

My sin was still shaking; I held onto it so dear.

And then in my conscience it was suddenly clear:

I depended on my comfort; so lustful, so evil

My blasphemous ways were steps for the enemy

to carry my soul to a pit for disposal.

I asked Him why I never knew this before?

“I have always known you,” He said

And then He spoke some more…

“The hairs on your head are so precious to me

I knew you inside your mother’s belly.

I knit you together,

My most prized possession

And I died for you

For us to have a connection.

I love how you smile and sing

I am your Destiny.

I kept you safe from the deceit in which you fell

And now I celebrate

Because you will know Me so well.”

As most of you think you know who I say:

It was my Father, who wasn’t but a prayer away.

The world’s savior from sin

That we are incapable of harnessing

Took the role in my life that needed addressing…

My dad was Christ all along, you see…

Because my father in flesh abandoned me."